.....and he will drink when he is thirsty.
Ever struggle with
trying to get someone to do what you want them to do? Wouldn't the world
be easier if the darn "horse" would just drink!? But maybe the horse
isn't thirsty, maybe he is angry and wants to get back at you, maybe he is
afraid of what is lurking in the water, maybe the last time he drank it tasted
bad, maybe he can't see the water, maybe he is too tired to drink. Whatever the reason the horse IS the one who decides to drink.
We may think we are getting him to drink, by pressure, fear-mongering, enticement,
education or other means, but in the end he drinks when he chooses.
This applies to many things in my life as
both the horse and the leader of the horse. I'll share a few and maybe it
will ring true to you too.
Kids - trying to get them to get ready in
the morning is HARD! They don't want to
get out of there cozy beds - especially after a snow day and the last day
before spring break. We have employed many tactics: yelling, threatening,
enticing, cajoling, etc. Today I let them decide (with a few parameters)
and suffer the consequences. The car was leaving at 7:35 and they were
welcome to come as they were or figure out how to get to school on their own.
It was a 50/50 successful attempt. They got it together in the last
5 minutes and it took all I had not to prompt them to do all their morning
tasks. We left at 7:37 - I caved by 2 minutes. But I was proud they
stepped up and they were the ones stressing not me.
Husbands - In this situation, I am the
horse. I have been a little off my game lately, in a funk, blue,
introspective, call it what you will, but I just want to cuddle up with a
blanket, read a book and step off the merry-go-round that is life right now.
He keeps trying to "cheer me up", which I understand is well
intentioned, but I feel like he is pushing my head in the water to make me
drink from the happiness bucket and I am just not thirsty! His 'cheering'
actually has the opposite effect and makes me pull harder in the other
direction. No one likes to feel manipulated; we all just want to be
understood. Stop pushing. I'll promise I will get thirsty on my
own.
Diabetes - about three weeks into my new
CGM (continuous glucose monitor - it is a little device that is inserted into
the skin/fat on my tummy - reads glucose every 5 minutes and sends it to my
pump so I can evaluate which way my blood sugars are trending and manage them
more closely). I know I should be grateful for the technology that allows
this life giving information to be provided to me, but I really want to toss
the thing out the window. Because it
reads every 5 minutes, I have more alarms going off (beeps, buzzes, tweets and
bells oh my!) to "help" me manage. I know this is a good thing,
but it has turned the disease that I have embraced for so long into a proper
"pain in my ASS"! Before CGM,
I had a routine, all was well, and I was content. You could rightfully
say ignorance is bliss. To be fair, it isn't the device that is the
trouble, it is the emotions in me it brings out - frustration, fear, self-pity,
anger, and others I haven't been able to name yet. I feel the educated
side of my brain pushing me to "drink" and the emotional side saying
"stop pushing, I want to go back to my safe routine". I am hopeful this internal tug of war will
play out, I can work through the emotions and get back to normal. I keep
taking deep breaths. Let Go. Let God.
If you are pushing your horse to drink -
stop it. Connect with their emotions, understand why they won’t drink and
give them back control.
If someone is pushing your head under
water – explain why you don’t want to drink, ask them to back off and know you have the
ultimate control. Drink when you are
thirsty.
Peace,
Patricia
